Can't believe it's FINALLY FRIDAY.

This week has got to be the busiest one yet, and man there are so many things to do over the weekends (and also over the next few weeks) but I'm trying to keep my head above water. Been sleeping past 2am for almost every night ever since last Sunday night and gosh, I can't remember the last time I felt so tired for so long ahaha. But ANYWAYS, at least it's friday today so it means I can finally get to relax a little.

Day 214 / Had a 3h English class in the morning today and I'm pretty relieved that I'm keeping up with work (or at the very least, not lacking behind as much as I thought). Just gotta continue on my essay at my own time and manage on my own first before having consultations with the teacher during class time. It's going to be another busy week next week (or maybe even busier) since it's the last week before term break SO....really looking forward to that one week holiday.
So after class Fathin went to my place and we made lunch for ourselves before Math class started, and class finally ended at 4:30. So I got home, talked to Juanny for a bit, showered, dried my hair and went to SLEEP! Both of us decided to take a nap before dinner time because we were just so tired ahaha, and in the end I slept till 8:30. She knocked on my door an hour before and I tried waking up but I just couldn't, so I ended up falling back asleep and waking up an hour later. She made some sweet potato fries and they were so good heheh, then we chatted a bit while eating before making our way up to meet the landlord/house owners for a short meeting. Then we came back, had dinner and all 4 of us (housemates) started sitting around the table and started chatting! We do this randomly sometimes ahaha, like one of us would just join in the conversation and suddenly it becomes a group chat. But I'm really happy to have such nice housemates I can actually talk to (like even personal/life stuffs) so it's all great. And both guys are older than me so sometimes they do offer valuable advices and they do come in handy. All 3 of them are really nice housemates (especially Juanny) and I'm just so thankful heheh.

Afterwards Juanny suggested having face masks so we all did it! She passed us bandanas and we took turns to apply the mask. We spent probably around 2 hours just chatting and then Yeong-su decided to tuck in first so we all returned to our rooms not long later.

Now in the hundreds and thousands of faces that you will pass by in your entire life, there are some you would walk past with absolute disinterest and some that you would want to catch another glimpse of because they remind you of a certain place or person. Sometimes when that happens you find yourself stopping in your tracks and flashbacks of those distant memories start crawling in and eventually it takes over you.

The world stops for a second. Footsteps and voices murmur. The silence becomes strikingly apparent and deafening. The life turns lifeless. Flowers wilt and the leaves fall from the trees. The body stops working. Lids are closed and prayers are heard. Vows are said and commitments are sworn. Babies are born and the old dies. The boiler stops rattling. The coffee turns cold.

The stench of loss is still fresh, achingly raw and pungent; but the earth somehow, inexplicably, turns still. Trains and cars start moving. The boiler rattles. Flowers bloom. The waves return to the shore. Somewhere in another country it starts to rain. Footsteps turn rusty and chattering voices resume. In a sheer second, things change.

Woke up feeling FAMISHED this morning so I spent a good one hour on the bed, half thinking of what I should make for breakfast and half deciding if I should sleep in (since it's the last day of the weekends, sigh) or get up. I was craving for a cold smoothie since it has been quite awhile since I made some but I knew it wasn't going to be filling, then I thought of making pancakes but was too lazy to, YUP #indecisive as usual I know. (Also, I came to a sudden realisation that I've been sooo unhealthy ever since I came to Aussie hahaha. I usually have smoothies or oatmeals for breakfast back home but ever since I came here I've been eating cereal 99% of the time because firstly it's tasty af and secondly it's too easy to prepare ahaha. That said I've never been so SEDENTARY all my life it's pretty worrying. But being someone who doesn't like to start something if she knows she isn't going to commit to it....I know it's just probably not the time now. Let's hope this isn't procrastination, LOL.)
SO just when I was getting lazy to get out of bed, Juanny (my housemate) texted me to ask if I wanted some pancakes because she wanted to clear the bananas she had and so I said YES, I'm starving! So we looked up for recipes and stumbled upon one really simple recipe so we made do with it. She started making the pancakes while I made some berries nice cream for the topping! We used lots of butter (vegan*) for the pancakes because the pan was just being so...stuck up (PUN INTENDED). Jokes, anyway we had a pretty fun time making them.

I was totally not planning to try to decorate it just to take nice photos but I figured why not right? Regrets: Not vlogging it! It could have been a what-i-eat-in-a-day video hahaha, been so long since I last posted one.

People Are Just Like Books

Now in all the hundreds and thousands of books that you will come across in your entire life, there are bound to be some that would stand out, some that would be forgotten, and some that would be left behind. As it is, we have to move on from one book to the next. With people, it is an inevitable phenomenon to be fleeting creatures, in constant search for new experiences, new sensations. There is, after all, only one life that we are given to live.

To find that one book amongst a ton of others—that book that you will hold dear for the rest of your life—it is something so rare; it’s almost like a miracle. This does not stop a person from searching still among other books. But in the end, nothing else surpasses the book that has touched you in a way that is different than any other.

It is a privilege that people be given the chance to be with other people, get to know each other, and finally decide if it is a relationship they would like to keep or not. There are some that would not welcome you into their life—like an old, tattered book with pages stuck together that you’d have to be extra careful when leafing through its pages—but if you have chosen to come in, or more appropriately, barge into their lives, there are endless ways so you will be accepted. With people, and books, it really is a matter of choice.

photo by laurasupnik For what it's worth: It's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

Apologies for the lack of updates, there have been a few things going on lately but I just haven't got the time to properly sit down and blog about it. And since I have some time to spare now while resting I just thought maybe I should update this space a little!

SO like, I've been feeling blue lately. Both physically and emotionally, I guess. Well technically life has been hectic ever since the new semester started and I just feel like there's just so much to deal with. Last night I spent some time trying to organise things my life and came into a final realisation that...YUP, I really have a lot to do. And my health isn't exactly helping much either, since I've been falling ill on-and-off and it doesn't ever actually go away because I haven't been taking care of myself either. So I started having sore throat about two weeks ago and just left my throat to rest, afterwards it got better, then I started feeling feverish a week later and last weekend I was probably running a high fever. "Probably" because my thermometer died on me but it felt like death inside so it was probably really bad. Adding on to that I had really painful period cramps just when the fever started, and my nose was blocked and the sore throat returned. It was totally NOT ok especially when I had other work to do besides taking care of my health.
Today I finally visited the doctor and was told that I was running a fever (still am) and I was totally oblivious about it since I feel so much less feverish than what I felt last weekend. He also told me that it was probably an infection/virus so all I'd have to do is to sleep more, stay warm and drink lots of water! But honestly I haven't been sleeping a lot so I think I need to rest more so that I can quickly recover from this bout. I was instructed to get some ibuprofen from the chemist after the consultation but considering how far it is from my place, maybe NAH.

But I've been blowing out mucus with blood traces in it, EEEEKS. TMI sorry ahaha.

Being sick alone here really makes me miss having a mum to fuss over me 24/7, her checking on me all the time, waking calls with medicine and warm water, someone keeping me warm and random cold towels placed on my forehead to relieve my fever. Ah, those were the days of feeling extra loved. I miss having those. :(

But health issues aside for now, work has been piling up too so I guess I've to really start optimising my time well. I can feel myself lacking behind my studies (especially after missing lessons) and that is definitely a bad sign, so I have to really buck up. I've also been stressing about which degree to undertake in my first Uni year next year and I really have to decide ASAP, but up till now I really do not know what I want, STILL. Everything seems so daunting and somehow I don't feel excited about growing up and for the years that have yet to come.

There's just so many more things I want to do amidst all of this. Like finding some spare time to edit/upload my vlogs, update this space more often, do more writing, going out to unwind myself, getting all this stress out of me, read more and rest more. I really do want to start reading and writing again, at least it gives me a space to vent and pour my feelings into. Maybe I will, soon. I hope.


And maybe, and hopefully, things will get better from here.

I will survive this.